Are You Compatible?

Are You Compatible? The term opposites attract is really full of truth for some people. They keep their relationship hopping with their individual eccentricities and their chemistry may not always be based simply on physical attraction. As a matter of fact, this belief is becoming more and more accepted as people are discovering that being too much alike is making them feel like they are in competition. Renowned psychologist Kevin Leman has developed a personality compatibility test to help people see what their strengths are and what they should build their relationships upon before getting married, and give them a guide on what to fix if their marriage is having problems..

Parenting Styles

Almost every parent has heard the phrase ‘spare the rod and spoil the child.’ At times they all wonder how their own parents put up them when they were growing up. And as much as parents hate disciplining their children, it needs to be done, although the way it is accomplished now as compared to when the parents were the children, has changed over the years. It doesn’t matter which particular method you use as long as you have a loving relationship with your child. Experts agree that there are three recognizable parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, and democratic/authoritative. Each have their pros and cons and each style may not work for everyone. In a perfect world, every parent and child would get along without the need for time-outs, grounding, and other techniques used to get the message across. But it is an imperfect world and every parent strives to raise their children in the best fashion they can.

In an authoritarian family structure, the parents are constantly trying to control their children. They set standards that are to be met and are usually critical if the child does not meet them. These parents do not allow their children choices and do not show their children a lot of affection or love. The child is also reprimanded for their bad behaviour and never praised, and they usually grow up unable to really think for themselves.

Permissive parents are just the opposite. The let their children have control and there are few rules set. The ones that are set usually are not enforced. The parents want their children to be free thinkers and live free, and learn how to do for themselves. There are no boundaries, no expectations, and the parents are warm and loving regardless of the child’s actions. Unfortunately these types of parents may be allowing their children to make bad decisions and without some guidance on their part, their children will not know what is proper behaviour and what is not.

Democratic parents are the type of parents everyone strives to be. There are a combination of authoritarian and permissive parenting styles who aid their child in learning to think and be responsible for themselves, their behaviour and the consequences of their actions. They give their child rules and expectations that are reasonable and not out of this world. They talk to their child and explain why certain actions are permitted and others are not. These parents don’t lord over their child, but guide and monitor them to make sure they follow the rules. They are loving, warm, but strict only when it is appropriate to make the child understand why what they did was wrong. They focus on the positive and allow their child to make informed decisions based on their abilities.

Parenting a child should be a combination of give and take. All parents should show their children love and affection and make sure that they know they are special. By treating their child with respect, love, and a nurturing hand, parents will watch as their children grow up to be respectful, loving, and nurturing adults.

About the author:

Garret Bolthouse is the author of this article on Kevin Leman. Find more information about Dr. Kevin Leman's Parenting and Marriage Seminars here.